Darkened Skies and Endless Light
by Kurisu
Summary: (Forte/Rock shounen-ai, fic revised) It was something Forte could never understand or comprehend...


Hello all. It's a funny story, really. My friend, Marina regressed to the Rockman obsession we had nearly two years ago. That was a fun time. ^_^ Anyway, upon the Rockman obsession returning from dormancy, I found this fic in the very back of the Rockman section of Fanfic.net. It was then that I wanted to rewrite it. And since I've gotten a little better in my writing (at least I think so), I think I can pull off a rewrite. ^_^   
Beware of sap. ^^; And I haven't played RM in...forever...so there might be a case of OOC, at least on Rock's part.   
If anything, this is a Forte/Rock shounen-ai. Meaning that there's romance between two males. Don't like it, don't read it. Flames will be read, then laughed at. And I don't own Rockman. But if I did....*evil laugh*   
So now that the author notes are over, onto the story! XD  
  
darkened skies and endless light (revised)   
  
He closed his eyes, only to feel the cool rain on his skin. It was the first time he felt it like this. It was a pure feeling, one that seemed to contrast with the dark sky. To Forte, the rain washed away not only his pain, but all emotion. Anger, depression, pain...it all seemed to disappear.  
  
All except one.  
  
It was something that he couldn't understand, that he'd never comprehend, even if he possessed all knowledge. He didn't know he was even capable of such strong emotion, a wanting of...he didn't want to admit anything to himself. To Forte, it felt like a curse, possibly a virus he was infected with, something that didn't belong in him.  
  
He was in love with Rock, and couldn't understand it.  
  
His enemy. To Forte, it was the ultimate sin to ever fall for your enemy. Animosity grew to adoration, hatred to love. He felt it grow stronger at every battle, at every struggle to increase evil to overpower good, he felt it in everything and every place in his existence. He couldn't stand the feeling, and he couldn't stop it.  
  
It never ceased, not once.  
  
No one knew. If they did, there would be hell, he was sure of it. If you were him, how could you ever admit you fell for your one and only adversary, Rockman himself? To Forte, it was the strangest thing he had ever encountered, and the darkest secret he could ever have.  
  
They had a battle that very day. Forte against Rockman. No longer could he concentrate on killing him, but protecting him from his every move. He felt torn...torn between the orders of his creator...and his love for Rock. To Forte, love was death, a horrible pain he both hated and reveled in. To love Rock was suicide, and part of Forte wanted to risk everything for it.  
  
And part of him wanted it destroyed forever.  
  
He had the chance in front of him. Rockman was unconscious, blood flowing from a gash across his cheek. Eyes closed, he seemed peaceful in sleep, as injured as he was. The dark robot stood over him as the rain began to fall, contemplating his next move. To Forte, it was the hardest decision of his life. He had the chance to kill Rockman for good. One shot, and it would be over. Just one.  
  
It never happened.  
  
It brought him to that current moment in the rain, with all that he felt slowly washing away. All except his feeling for Rock, which was currently by his side in that wood near the city. He never ceased to remember those few seconds where Rockman could have died, where his mission could have been accomplished. It would have just been one shot, just one. To Forte, crying was a strange thing, as would be to one who had never experienced such pain.  
  
And he could feel it, even with the rain pouring harder, washing the tears away.  
  
He didn't want to go back to Wily's right away, but stay in the alleyway he currently existed in, just to think. At home, it was much too noisy for one to think. It was something even Wily himself complained about for days on end. The old man wouldn't be worried if Forte was gone too long. Sometimes, he wouldn't notice the black robot sneaking out unless he needed him for something. Usually, that something involved a certain blue robot, in which Forte could never decline. If he did, he would seem craven to all in the castle. To Forte, solitude and secrecy was all he could ask for.  
  
Lightning flashed, followed by loud sounds of thunder. The storm increased gradually as Forte still sat in the darkened alley. No longer could he feel his tears, and he wasn't sure at all if he was still shedding them. The pain had not washed away, but stayed, and he could feel it increase. To Forte, pain was a known and lost ally, and to have it betray him in such a way was painful in itself.  
  
Forte hadn't noticed the cut he had given himself just a second before. The broken glass lay on the ground, its tip covered in crimson blood, slowly washing away. He began to bleed on his arm, with his empty stare on the injury. Sometimes, the pain would be a sort of comfort to him. But now, it seemed to increase his suffering. He felt dead inside, and he couldn't be sure why.  
  
It was possible for him to become numb, and he felt it cover to every part of his body. Forte was never sure how human-like Wily had made him until he felt this...felt so very dead...so very cold...so...  
  
"Forte?"  
  
The soft voice cut through the silence, as though light had begun to shine through the darkened clouds of the storm. Forte almost hadn't heard it, but knew its owner...  
  
"Rockman, what are you doing here? Go, before I kill you."  
  
Rock shook his head, his eyes filled with uncertainty.  
  
"If you didn't kill me before, then I doubt you'll do it now. That's why I'm here, Forte."  
  
"To ask me why I didn't kill you when you were unconscious? I don't know, and you should just be glad I didn't. Leave, Rockman." The black robot bowed his head. He couldn't let him see his eyes. He just couldn't.  
  
"I'm not leaving. I know you know why. I want you to tell me."  
  
"Why are you so concerned? I let you go, so you should just GO!" Forte shook his head, feeling many emotions surging throughout his being. Even the rain couldn't wash them away now, not with their cause standing before Forte.  
  
"As much as you want me to leave, Forte, I'm not going to."  
  
"I'll make you leave, then." said the black robot, still staring down to the ground. He had to avoid his eyes...avoid contact....  
  
"I know you won't do that." Reluctantly, Rock sat down beside Forte. Nervousness flowed inside of him, but after a while, he began to calm himself.  
  
"How do you know, Rockman?"  
  
"....do you think I haven't been watching you, Forte? You don't fight me like you used to. It's as though....you've lost that merciless side of yourself when it comes to me. Blues has seen it as well. You fight Blues mercilessly, but me...you never try anymore...never try to kill me."  
  
Forte forced a laugh. "And you think...something's wrong with me? I just haven't been myself. Are you satisfied?"  
  
"Not at all, because you're not telling me the truth." Forte shook his head angrily. Why couldn't he go away? Couldn't Rock see that he didn't want him there?  
  
"What do you WANT me to tell you? I told you the truth, Rockman. Why don't you just LEAVE? Go home. I'm just FINE."  
  
"No, you're not. There's something you're not telling me, and I want to know."  
  
Forte felt the will to look into Rock's eyes increase, and he struggled to do the opposite.  
  
"Why are you so damn concerned?"  
  
Rock smiled. "Because I know we're not enemies."  
  
"What idiot told you THAT?"  
  
"....we're not meant to be enemies, Forte, and you know that as well as I do. We're the same..."  
  
"We are not the same, Rock, don't you understand? You think that, and you know it's not true."  
  
"As much as you want to deny it, it's the truth. And because of this, I'm concerned."  
  
Forte was silent. The pain surged throughout his body, with the black robot denying its existence. He only heard the sound of Rock taking off his blue helmet, and Forte caught a glimpse of brown.  
  
"It feels nice to be out here in the rain. I'm hardly ever outside when there's a storm. Dr. Light is afraid I might short-circuit or something."  
  
Rock heard a slight chuckle, and noticed that Forte was laughing...actually laughing...  
  
"I need you to tell me the truth, Forte. No lying."  
  
Forte wouldn't speak, he couldn't. Even to glance at Rock would be a painful thing. It would bring him to the edge, to the cold hard truth that he had long since tried to destroy, try to deny. Even if he admitted it to himself, he couldn't tell Rock how he felt. A simple thing as sharing your feelings can destroy all that you are. To Forte, it showed one's weaknesses...they were exposed for all to see.  
  
He couldn't...no, he wouldn't expose his weakness to his only adversary.  
  
_Because I know we're not enemies._  
  
The sentence played over and over in his mind. They were, why couldn't Rock understand? Unless...  
  
"Forte, I think I know." The black robot closed his eyes, feeling the rain cease a bit, then fall harder. It couldn't end, not just yet.  
  
"No, you don't know."  
  
"Look at me, Forte." said Rock quietly.  
  
"I won't."  
  
"Please Forte, just look at me! Why is it you can't do that?"  
  
Forte raised his head a bit, not making eye contact with the blue robot that was now presently in front of him.  
  
"You can't understand."  
  
"And how do you know I won't understand?"  
  
"Because...you've never felt what I've felt. You have NO IDEA, Rock...how it feels to die inside...to be torn...to be...alone."  
  
Forte cursed himself, angry at letting such emotion slip. His weaknesses were exposed, due to his stupidity. Rock could see inside him to a place in which no one had seen. Now he knew, and there was no way to regress.  
  
"You don't think I hurt inside, Forte? I can't begin to count the many times I've cried because of things that you also feel. And it comes back to before...we are alike, no matter how much you try to deny it."  
  
Silence fell on them, as softly as the rain.  
  
"Look at me, and tell me."  
  
Still, Forte would not.  
  
"Forte, look at me."  
  
Rock grabbed the black robot's shoulders, shaking him softly.  
  
"Look at me!"  
  
Suddenly, their eyes met, blue with black. Rock almost wept as he looked into the empty eyes of Forte. He was dead inside, and Rock knew why. He saw pain in his dark eyes, a certain ache that had never been healed. Forte stared at the mark he had made on the blue robot, feeling a sense of regret as it became a scar.  
  
"Forte, please.....tell me."  
  
Forte spoke a silent word of refusal, then stood up, flying off into the darkened sky. But Rock wouldn't let him leave so quickly as he began to follow him. Forte clenched his fist, trying to shoot Rock, but aiming terribly.  
  
"Forte, come back!"  
  
"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, ROCKMAN!"  
  
He did not know when it happened, but Rock felt tears fall onto his cheeks, mixing with the pouring rain. They had stopped in mid-air, black meeting blue once again.  
  
"I won't....because there's something that has also been hurting me."  
  
Forte shook his head. "And if you think I actually give a damn, you're very mistaken."  
  
Rock removed his gaze from Forte to the city below.  
  
"I really do think you would."  
  
"Then you're just wasting your time, because I really don't."  
  
Out of nervousness, Rock bit his lip hard, not noticing the small pool of blood forming.   
"What hurts me...is that I feel something...that tears me up inside. It's so painful, so alienating, that even Blues admitted that I'm isolating myself from everyone. It's something I can't understand, no matter how much I try to. And it refuses to be ignored."  
  
Forte's expression never changed, but Rock could tell that his words reached somewhere never ventured...  
  
"And I think...that you're feeling the same as me, Forte. How do I know? Because I know this feeling better than anyone. I know what it looks like...what it feels like."  
  
"You don't know anything about what I feel."  
  
"I'm just asking you to look at me and tell me the truth. This has been going on for far too long...to the both of us."  
  
Somehow, Forte was confused by his words, yet somewhere inside him, he understood.  
  
"Please, Forte."  
  
"I have nothing to tell you."  
  
Rock looked at him in an assured expression.  
  
"If you have nothing to tell me, Forte, then why are you still here?"  
  
It was something he could not answer. Why _was_ he still there? He had enough time to escape Rock and head back home, but he didn't bother to. Rather, he stayed, trying to evade the blue robot's questions and conversation on feelings and emotion.  
  
It was because something inside him *wanted* Rock to know.  
  
Forte had to get rid of this feeling...this emotion...this love for his only enemy. No longer was animosity present, but a strong desire of something unattainable. Clenching his fists, he suppressed the threat of tears.  
  
"Answer me." said Rock, his voice faint in Forte's mind.  
  
"All I want, Rockman...is for you to die. To just...leave forever. It's all I ever wanted...to kill you myself, without it being a mission or errand. You have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER your affect on me...that I must defeat you to keep my status."  
  
Rock could feel tears threatening to fall, but forced himself to not break down...not here...not now.  
  
"If that's all you ever wanted, Forte, then why didn't you do it when you had the chance?"  
  
The black robot maintained his empty stare. "It would be useless."  
  
"Useless?" Forte nodded.  
  
"Because...if I *did* kill you, I wouldn't feel as victorious as I would have before. It would eat away at me for all eternity."  
  
"Forte..."  
  
"I would feel like dying inside as well. Why is it that I didn't kill you when I should have? Why is it that every attack to your being hurts me more than it would ever hurt you? Why do I not feel what I felt before? Because I feel more now than I ever felt in all the years I've lived. I should've killed you, I know that....but I couldn't. Why? ...."  
  
Forte stopped. He had let his barrier down more than he ever had in his life. For that, he punished himself inside. It all escaped, everything that ate away at him, everything that caused him so much pain for so long. He didn't notice it, or even know, but his tears began to fall along the sides of his cheeks, reflecting his violet scars. He had to escape.  
  
He took off without warning, not looking at the sad expression on Rock's face.  
  
  
The rain had not ceased. Forte sat under a tree in a wood not far from Wily's. He was irritated by that...blueberry...and at the same time...  
  
_You HAD to say all that to him, didn't you?_ he told himself.  
  
The black robot hadn't noticed that Gospel traced his scent, finding him in that very wood. He ran toward his owner, barking loudly. Forte smiled as he saw his beloved dog run towards him, lying down next to Forte despite the cold, wet weather.  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't come home right away after I sent you back. I had a...dispute with Rockman."  
  
Gospel looked at his owner, knowing that it wasn't exactly a "dispute". Was "dispute" in Forte's language? The robot-dog knew everything about him and Rockman. Forte felt he could share anything with Gospel...he always kept everything a secret. The black robot stroked him softly as the robot-dog began to close his eyes.  
  
"He wanted me to admit it...admit that I..."  
  
"That you what?" Forte knew that voice more than anything.  
  
Rock.  
  
"What are _you_ doing here?! Did you HAVE to follow me?! Goddamn it all, you're so fucking PERSISTENT! Just LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY!"  
  
Rock's eyes were wide open, but stood his ground. He had to help Forte to admit what he felt. He knew he shouldn't force him to, but he couldn't help but relieve it all.  
  
Rock was in love with Forte, realizing it after much disbelief. Actually, it was something he still didn't understand, and he didn't know exactly when it began. Was it that first day when they discovered Forte, before they knew he was Wily's creation? Was it one of the many fights they had gotten into, each ending with Rock as the victor?  
  
....or was it today...when Forte confessed all he felt?  
  
"Forte..."  
  
The black robot had lowered his head, not wanting...to look...in those same blue eyes...  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
His voice sounded so very dead, so lost, so empty. Rock felt tears in his eyes, which was hidden by the falling rain. Walking over to Forte, he sat down beside him, feeling more nervous than he had ever felt.  
  
"I wanted to tell you..." But he was cut off.  
  
"Tell me WHAT? It's not like I care anyway."  
  
Rock shook his head. "It doesn't have to be like this, you know. You can just leave that evil side alone, leave Wily."  
  
"This has NOTHING to do with Wily. In fact, I'm practically out of his reach now. It's just me. No one else."  
  
"Then why are you still the way you are?"  
  
Forte stared at the ground, now soaked with rain, mud forming.  
  
"...I am the strongest....and I won't quit until I prove that to the world. I'll prove it to you...I'm stronger than anyone."  
  
"It doesn't matter if you are or not...even the strongest have a weakness."  
  
"Then I'll rid myself of it."  
  
"It's not that simple."  
  
Forte glanced at Rock, then turned his head away.  
  
"Forte, I came out here to tell you something...to...confess my weakness, I guess."  
  
The black robot turned his head again, staring into the eyes of Rock.  
  
"Confess your weakness? Why in all of holy hell would you do _that_?"  
  
Rock smiled. "Because...you're my weakness."  
  
Time seemed to stop at that very second, that very point. The words replayed in Forte's mind, and he wondered if he had been imagining them...were they real? Rock turned his gaze away, looking down at the same ground Forte had been looking at before.  
  
"I'm your weakness?" Forte asked, destroying the silence. "How?"  
  
"You're my weakness...because..."  
  
Suddenly, the blue robot could not speak. After what seemed like an eternity of planning how the conversation would go...he couldn't say it...  
  
"Because...?" Forte had a feeling, a deep, almost painful feeling he knew what Rock would say. And for reasons unknown, he didn't want him to speak...to say anything....  
  
"....you're my weakness...because....I love you."  
  
Silence encircled the two, the rain seeming to cease, then fall again. None could speak or take action, but just sit there, contemplating all that had been said. After a long while, Rock turned to Forte, and, unsure of what to say, broke the silence.  
  
"I have a feeling...that you feel the same way...the same pain...the same confusion..."  
  
"You know nothing."  
  
"Please. Forte..."  
  
"Look, just because you confessed your undying love for me doesn't mean I'm going to come out saying 'I'm madly in love with you, Rock, and I want to live with you happily ever after, having hot sex with you for all eternity'."  
  
Rock chuckled a bit, but laughter soon gave way to tears. Forte stood up, looking at the crestfallen expression on the blue robot's face.  
  
"Even...if I did love you, Rockman...I wouldn't want it. We're enemies, and that is how it will stay."  
  
He turned his back, not wanting to face Rock any longer. He hadn't left, not even after Forte rejected him horribly. Part of Forte was pleased at this outcome, at the pain he had caused the damn blueberry. And part of him...was hurting for it.  
  
...and he could only follow one.  
  
His back still turned, he answered. "Why are you still here, Rock?"  
  
"Because...I want to stay. Even if you don't feel something for me...I still feel something for you."  
  
"I might kill you."  
  
"You'd never do that."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because...you do feel something for me."  
  
Turning around, Forte came face to face with Rock again, the exact height causing them to look in the other's eyes, black against blue. Rock took off his helmet again, and removing Forte's own, he ran his fingers slightly through the dark strands of hair.  
  
And slowly...Rock kissed him.  
  
It was different...a kiss from one who had been wanting it for what seemed like forever. To Rock's surprise, Forte did not push away, but instead, encouraged it, running his tongue alongside Rock's own.  
  
To Forte, this was the best and only kiss he ever had.  
  
Breaking the kiss, Rock stared into the dark eyes again, feeling heaven wash over him. They had forgotten that they were in the pouring rain, gone so long that their creators might question their delay. The blue robot embraced the one before him, pressing his lips to the bottom of Forte's neck, resting his head on the black robot's shoulders.  
  
They had stayed that way forever, allowing the darkened skies to give way to light.  
  
To Forte, it was...strange...yet...incredible...  
  
And still, the rain fell.  
  
Owari. 


End file.
